Yama was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had
already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why
this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public.
Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment? He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or preconceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an
English test.
1. PVNR is asked to spell “INDIA” and he does it correctly.
2. Advani is asked to spell “ENGLAND” and he too passes.
3. It is Laloo’s turn and he is asked to spell “CZECHOSLOVAKIA”.
Laloo protests that he doesn’t know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another Chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
1. PVNR is asked to write “KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW”. He writes it easily and passes.
2. Advani is asked to write “BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN”. He too passes.
3. Laloo is asked to write “BANDAR BOLA GRRRRRR…..” Tough one. He fails again.
Laloo is extremely unhappy. Having been a student of history (which the other two weren’t), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.
1. PVNR is asked: “When did India get Independence?” He replied “1947? and passed.
2. Advani is asked, “How many people died during the independence Struggle?” He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
3. It’s Laloo’s turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the independence struggle. Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story:
*IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
why India lost the final of the 2003 world cup?
Just in case you were still wondering as to why India lost the final of the
2003 world cup after playing so well in the league games, probably here lies the answer…..
The teams that qualified for the super six stage…
India , Sri Lanka , Australia , New Zealand , Kenya ,Zimbabwe .
Note there are two teams each from the continents of Asia ,Australasia &
Africa respectively ..
The teams that have the last alphabet “a” in their names qualified for the
semifinals viz.
Indi’a’ , Australi’a’ , Keny’a’ & Sri Lank’a’.
The teams that have alphabets “ia” at the last of their name qualified for
the Final i.e
Ind “ia” & Austral”ia “.
Now,
Kisne World Cup ”lia” - Austra”lia”
Kisne World Cup “dia” - In”dia”
2003 world cup after playing so well in the league games, probably here lies the answer…..
The teams that qualified for the super six stage…
India , Sri Lanka , Australia , New Zealand , Kenya ,Zimbabwe .
Note there are two teams each from the continents of Asia ,Australasia &
Africa respectively ..
The teams that have the last alphabet “a” in their names qualified for the
semifinals viz.
Indi’a’ , Australi’a’ , Keny’a’ & Sri Lank’a’.
The teams that have alphabets “ia” at the last of their name qualified for
the Final i.e
Ind “ia” & Austral”ia “.
Now,
Kisne World Cup ”lia” - Austra”lia”
Kisne World Cup “dia” - In”dia”
Saturday, September 20, 2008
It's laugh story time!!!
1)Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'
Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What does that tell you?'
Watson ponders for a minute.' Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.' Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'
2)Sachin went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.' The lawyer smiled at Sachin and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.'
Sachin looked somewhat upset and said, 'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!'
3) Two friends arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
4)A mathematician, an accountant and and economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathmatician and asks "What does two plus two equal?" The mathmatician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four exactly?" The mathmatician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four,exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says,"On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, foue."
Then the interviewer calls in the economists and poses the same question,"What do two plus two equal?" The economists gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"
5) A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the manager, "Do you have any duck food." Tha manager says,"No, we don't have any dick food." The duck leaves , and comes back later. He asks the manager, "Do you have any duck food." The manager is annoyed and says, "No, we don't have any duck food." The next day, here comes the duck again into hardware store. He finds the manager and says, "Do you have any duck food." No, we don't have any duck food and if you come in here and asks me that again, i am going to nail your feetto the floor!" and stomps away. The duck leaves and the next day, comes in again. HE says the manager, "Do you have any nails." The manager screams, "No, we don,t have any nails!" So the duck says, "Do you have any duck food?"
6) While crossing the border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man was carrying. "What's in the bags?", asks the guard.
"Sand," said the cyclist.
The guard asked the cyclist to empty the bags. After proving they contained nothing, but sand, the man reloaded the bags and left. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. The bags again contained sand. This webt on for six months.
A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown and asked, "Man you had us crazy. We knew you were smuggling something across the border, but what was it?"
"Bicycles!" said the cyclcist.
'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'
Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What does that tell you?'
Watson ponders for a minute.' Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.' Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'
2)Sachin went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.' The lawyer smiled at Sachin and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.'
Sachin looked somewhat upset and said, 'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!'
3) Two friends arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
4)A mathematician, an accountant and and economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathmatician and asks "What does two plus two equal?" The mathmatician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four exactly?" The mathmatician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four,exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says,"On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, foue."
Then the interviewer calls in the economists and poses the same question,"What do two plus two equal?" The economists gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"
5) A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the manager, "Do you have any duck food." Tha manager says,"No, we don't have any dick food." The duck leaves , and comes back later. He asks the manager, "Do you have any duck food." The manager is annoyed and says, "No, we don't have any duck food." The next day, here comes the duck again into hardware store. He finds the manager and says, "Do you have any duck food." No, we don't have any duck food and if you come in here and asks me that again, i am going to nail your feetto the floor!" and stomps away. The duck leaves and the next day, comes in again. HE says the manager, "Do you have any nails." The manager screams, "No, we don,t have any nails!" So the duck says, "Do you have any duck food?"
6) While crossing the border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man was carrying. "What's in the bags?", asks the guard.
"Sand," said the cyclist.
The guard asked the cyclist to empty the bags. After proving they contained nothing, but sand, the man reloaded the bags and left. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. The bags again contained sand. This webt on for six months.
A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown and asked, "Man you had us crazy. We knew you were smuggling something across the border, but what was it?"
"Bicycles!" said the cyclcist.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Smile with SMS
1st Guy : My wife's an angel
2nd Guy : You're lucky. Mine's still alive!
************************************************************
1st Man: Yaar meri biwi mere dost ke sath bhaag gayi.
2nd Man : Uski yaad aati hogi naa.
1st Man: Haa yaar.. bahut acha dost tha!
************************************************************
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
************************************************************
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students.
************************************************************
Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
************************************************************
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
************************************************************
American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
************************************************************
Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
************************************************************
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
************************************************************
Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko!
************************************************************
new way of praposing to a girl..
boy:let us think that i w'll give birth to a boy like me and u w'll give birth to a beautiful girl like u.
girl: so what ??
boy: i don't want to run my son behind ur daughter & waste time like me..
girl:so what should i do??
boy:let us make them brother & sister..so i think we shall marry for this..what do u say...
*********************************************************
BUMPER OFFER SEND ME SMS AND WIN...
10 Lac ki car ka photo,
29"Tv ka box,
Malaysia janewale plane ko TATA karne ka moka
aur
mere sath DINNER apke ghar!
***********************************************************
Husband and wife r angry on each other...
Husband(from office to wife): what is the Dinner today...
Wife : Poison...
Husband: Ok..dont wait 4 me..
************************************************************
boy to god:god,give me 1bag full of money,a job, 1big vehicle full of girls.god:thathastu ,ur wish is fulfilled!and he became... a bus conductor. ..
************************************************************
Wen luv fails, emotions work
wen emotions fail, words work
wen words fail, tears work
wen everythng fails...
Beer works... Cheers....
************************************************************
Sardar gives DICTATION test to the students...
Last bench students said that they couldn't hear anything.
so Sardar replied : Ok, I ll write on the board
************************************************************
When I call u,
1 ring means i'm thinkin of u,
2 rings means i like u,
3 rings means i'm missing u,
4 rings means i need u,
5 rings mean.. BEHRE PHONE UTTHA!
2nd Guy : You're lucky. Mine's still alive!
************************************************************
1st Man: Yaar meri biwi mere dost ke sath bhaag gayi.
2nd Man : Uski yaad aati hogi naa.
1st Man: Haa yaar.. bahut acha dost tha!
************************************************************
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
************************************************************
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students.
************************************************************
Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
************************************************************
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
************************************************************
American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
************************************************************
Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
************************************************************
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
************************************************************
Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko!
************************************************************
new way of praposing to a girl..
boy:let us think that i w'll give birth to a boy like me and u w'll give birth to a beautiful girl like u.
girl: so what ??
boy: i don't want to run my son behind ur daughter & waste time like me..
girl:so what should i do??
boy:let us make them brother & sister..so i think we shall marry for this..what do u say...
*********************************************************
BUMPER OFFER SEND ME SMS AND WIN...
10 Lac ki car ka photo,
29"Tv ka box,
Malaysia janewale plane ko TATA karne ka moka
aur
mere sath DINNER apke ghar!
***********************************************************
Husband and wife r angry on each other...
Husband(from office to wife): what is the Dinner today...
Wife : Poison...
Husband: Ok..dont wait 4 me..
************************************************************
boy to god:god,give me 1bag full of money,a job, 1big vehicle full of girls.god:thathastu ,ur wish is fulfilled!and he became... a bus conductor. ..
************************************************************
Wen luv fails, emotions work
wen emotions fail, words work
wen words fail, tears work
wen everythng fails...
Beer works... Cheers....
************************************************************
Sardar gives DICTATION test to the students...
Last bench students said that they couldn't hear anything.
so Sardar replied : Ok, I ll write on the board
************************************************************
When I call u,
1 ring means i'm thinkin of u,
2 rings means i like u,
3 rings means i'm missing u,
4 rings means i need u,
5 rings mean.. BEHRE PHONE UTTHA!
Laughing Sher
Tere gam mein tadap ke mar jayenge,
mar gaye to tera naam le jayenge!
rishwat de ke tujhe bhi bulayenge,
tum upar aaoge to....
saath baith kar KURKURE khayenge!!!
Bewafa Tum Ho To
Wafadaar Hum Bhi Nahi,
Besharam Tum Ho To
Sharamdaar Hum Bhi Nahi,
Pyaar Ke Is Mode Par Aake Kehte Ho Shadishuda Ho
To Kya Hua Darling...Kunware Hum Bhi Nahin!!!
gam woh cheez hai...
gam woh cheez hai...
gam woh cheez hai...
jis se kagaz chupkae jate hain..
Apki 'smile' ne saara jahan hila diya,
Apki 'smile' ne saara jahan hila diya,
COMA se jaage huye mareez ko permanently sula diya.
Apne roop par itna ghuroor na kar,
sab 2 din ki masti hai,
Tera husn bhi tab tak qayam hai,
jab tak
Fair & Lovely sasti hai!!!!
ek tum ho jo iTNey acchey ho,
ek tum ho jo kitney pyarey ho,
ek tum ho jo kitney sundar ho,
ek tum ho jo chand sitare ho,
Aur ek hum hain, jo jooth boley jaa rahey hain...
mar gaye to tera naam le jayenge!
rishwat de ke tujhe bhi bulayenge,
tum upar aaoge to....
saath baith kar KURKURE khayenge!!!
Bewafa Tum Ho To
Wafadaar Hum Bhi Nahi,
Besharam Tum Ho To
Sharamdaar Hum Bhi Nahi,
Pyaar Ke Is Mode Par Aake Kehte Ho Shadishuda Ho
To Kya Hua Darling...Kunware Hum Bhi Nahin!!!
gam woh cheez hai...
gam woh cheez hai...
gam woh cheez hai...
jis se kagaz chupkae jate hain..
Apki 'smile' ne saara jahan hila diya,
Apki 'smile' ne saara jahan hila diya,
COMA se jaage huye mareez ko permanently sula diya.
Apne roop par itna ghuroor na kar,
sab 2 din ki masti hai,
Tera husn bhi tab tak qayam hai,
jab tak
Fair & Lovely sasti hai!!!!
ek tum ho jo iTNey acchey ho,
ek tum ho jo kitney pyarey ho,
ek tum ho jo kitney sundar ho,
ek tum ho jo chand sitare ho,
Aur ek hum hain, jo jooth boley jaa rahey hain...
Friday, March 14, 2008
Laugh in Logic
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
so why practice?
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
Ever seen a woman behind unsuccessful person?
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........
education ruined me.
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
so why practice?
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
Ever seen a woman behind unsuccessful person?
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Have a laugh!
Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta. He refused
saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin
rakhunga
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Agar aap bus pe chade...
ya phir bus aap pe chade...
dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai,
kahti hai koi patthar se na maare mere deewana ko,
twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
An old rich man marries a young gal.
Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate huwe): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.
saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin
rakhunga
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Agar aap bus pe chade...
ya phir bus aap pe chade...
dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai,
kahti hai koi patthar se na maare mere deewana ko,
twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
An old rich man marries a young gal.
Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate huwe): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Let's laugh with santa and banta
Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"
Banta : Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!
Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghus Ayaa..
Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..!
Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So Jao!
Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !
Jasmeet : Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai.
Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!
Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya ..?
Santa meets his friend Bunta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!
Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta : Kyoo Ji ?
Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.
Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke...
Jasmeet : Phone Mere Liye Tha!
Santa : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.
Santa : Yaar ! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.
Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.
Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon , Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine Kaha I Luv U, To Woh Boli 'Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'
Banta : Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!
Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghus Ayaa..
Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..!
Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So Jao!
Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !
Jasmeet : Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai.
Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!
Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya ..?
Santa meets his friend Bunta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!
Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta : Kyoo Ji ?
Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.
Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke...
Jasmeet : Phone Mere Liye Tha!
Santa : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.
Santa : Yaar ! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.
Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.
Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon , Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine Kaha I Luv U, To Woh Boli 'Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'
Tough Love
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:
"No, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!"
"No, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!"
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